the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
