Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize