I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
