I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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