Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least

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(858): View more from California

This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments

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(410): View more from Maryland

She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family

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(631): View more from New York

She told me I should be a condom model.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.

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(406): View more from Montana

Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?

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(226): View more from Ontario

His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice

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