So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
