Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
