Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
