Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
