started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I sprained my soul last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
