she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
