WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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