Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize