Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize