apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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