the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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