I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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