TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize