Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
