your parents love me but you hate me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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