Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize