my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
