You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
