Me. At least after what I've been through.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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