omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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