are you so shy because you have an std?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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