At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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