Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize