the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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