talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
