did you get engaged???
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
