In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
