names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
