Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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