Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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