he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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