I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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