Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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