Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
