She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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