Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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