I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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