we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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