its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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