96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
