Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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