They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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