I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Randomize
