so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
