we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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