You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
