we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Found the puke drawer
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
