Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
