We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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