I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you will always have a special place in my vag
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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