Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
