So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
