College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
