pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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