come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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