theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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