somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am available for nakedness
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
