i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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