i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
