I have demons in me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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