so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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