Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
