Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
