I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My life is pants optional.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
