Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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