we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
