I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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