You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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